Top ten cringeworthy phrases in asset management
Come on we’re all guilty. Even me.
Everything below has been ripped out of a stack of PowerPoint decks on my desk.
1. We have a global reach and a local presence
= We have some random offices around the world to make us look big. And, here’s a map.
2. We have a multi-boutique approach
= We want to be smaller and more special because we’re a bit big and clunky.
3. We are bottom-up style-agnostic high-conviction manager
= We do what the whole industry is paid to do.
4. We have a focused product range
= We find it too much work to launch new funds.
5. We are independent
= We’re an asset manager, not a bank and we’re worried you won’t know the difference.
6. We manage trillions through a multi-boutique approach
= We’re really big and yet somehow still seriously cool.
7. We provide solutions to meet our clients’ needs
= We want the fees those institutional consultants get.
8. We’ve been working on artificially intelligence
= We’re hiring robots, firing portfolio managers, but we will charge the same fees (or more).
9. We have a deep environmental, social and governance focus
= We tick boxes the consultants like, to look good and win mandates.
10. We are a active, long-term, global, multi-boutique that provides solutions for a better tomorrow
= We desperately need AUM (that means more money).
